what is this thing called/that makes me feel so tall/like i've gone to battle and conquered all/like...

when i'm driven to a reckless smile on the train
and everbody thinks i'm insane
your name popping up on my phone
somehow knowing you won't just leave me alone
a soft kiss on my shoulder blade
that sunny smile stuck in your face
your hand on my back--our mixed skin tones
a praise sent up to God for giving you to me on loan

i remember you on dayz like this
when i cd feel the rain before it touched my skin
when it was warm outside, warm within

i remember you on a day like this
when i wd come to you all overwhelmed
and you would give me open ears
and your bright wide smile
so before i cd even start to tell you my trouble
it wd already be gone and forgotten

i remember you on dayz like this
because even though we never said it--we never had to
i knew if i wanted to run away
you wd come with me

i remember seeing you and already knowing you
before i knew

i remember having words to say
and i remember when they fell from my mouth
you caught them in your open hands
and held them close
all the while crafting them into something
more beautiful that what i really said

i remember you
your brown skin and silent moments

i remember the wish in your eyes
of achieving the dreams you dared give birth and life

i remember you on dayz like this

love to remember it was you i loved
sometimes wonder who you
are
but
i remember you
on a day like this

i remember

when you left you lied
put my fears to use
helped me learn to cry
never told me why
never dried my eyes
don't know why but i
still care, still want you
to be somewhere
i can reach you, can touch you
nobody understands
how i can still love you
but i do

all i really wanted was some positive attention, good conversation, quality time, consistency
all the things i say i want you're giving to me
it's a surprise and blessing
these gifts, these memories
you bring me smiles that'll last a while
for real, you make me want to sing

written 6.12.07; 10:57am
i am the sun
i am a beautiful ray of light
i am rich
i am full
i am powerful
i am protected
i was put here for a purpose
i am loved and will be treasured and remembered
forever

you've got a smile stuck in your face
something so sweet can't be erased
(it) makes me lose my mind, leaving useless things behind
just a little thank you for my sunshine