if i say all that i think how does it make you feel?
do you like to hear my voice?
your voice is strong
diligent and powerful
conscious of its own weight and range
you seem to think i want to be involved with knowing you
like i care as much as i do to really come to get you
i hold my arms out before me
palms facing you
your eyes squint
neck tilts
i close my eyes
start my inner conversation with God
he tells me-she tells me
that you, who have so many reasons to doubt,
have already boarded the flight towards which i am pacing
that your bags are stowed,
your seatbelt clamped,
and your heart steady

i read the language when i originally purchased the ticket
non-refundable, non-transferrable, non-returnable
but still my muscles keep me slow and way behind
late for take off
my seat is across the aisle from you
beside you
close enuf to reach out
and touch you
and i want to touch you

i have gotten so used to being touched
to touching without trust
i fear the gravity of my emotional potential
do i board this flight?
shall i join you in the air?
stop this game of living without loving?

final call
i hear my name
passengers all aboard
you open your eyes, turn your head towards my seat

and there i stand with my back to you
securing my belongings in the stowaway compartment
you reach out, sqeeze what is yours

i smile over my shoulder
i have said my prayers
God - he and she - has given me the go ahead
has signed off of the possibility of you
and i have trusted
i take my seat
fasten my seatbelt, your eyes holding me in place
i see your eyes full with wonder and hope
but mostly wondering what this flight will be like
if we will arrive safely and on time
i lift mine eyes to yours
and commit to breaking down, for the whole journey,
all that has kept me from flying until now

my furrowed brow relaxes as i take you into my eyes as the gift you are,
reach out to you with my left hand
your right hand in mine,
i am now ready to fly