tonight you came into plain sight
i saw where you had been in my living room before
hot and in heat
and my head on your lap

but my head had closed my heart to you
and i saw you being tired
of feeling for naught
with no remorse
and with no reciprocation

i saw your love
smoky like a shadow
get the hell up and walk the hell out

but you stayed
seated
hot and in heat
but from then on without the heart that had chosen to love me
lacking the luster that had once made me shine
so that upon my first "no"
it also became my last
and yours became undone

that night you stayed
wrapped up in confusion, anger, and a mere 200-count version of the infinite magic we had once shared

the next morning you left on my train
and i was left behind to wonder what i had done wrong
but really i knew that it had all gone wrong
was done
and over
and no more would i see you
or feel you
or hear you

and i had to deal with my shock and eventual sorrow and even
regret

i think i may now be ready now
having looked back and reassessed words and actions lived before now
reinterpreted a line or two

ready

to give you what you deserve
and to be no longer symmetrical and impervious to pain
but for real
and for you

Copyright © 2006 by Arin Lawrence