Is this all I have seen of you?
All I will know of you?
Is now the time of goodbyes and the type of change that humbles me low?
Can I put on my face cloak and cover up what was once my glee filled expression?

Eyes heave with the weight of what happened and doubt drenches the collar of my favorite shirt
Body aches
And with nowhere to go for a layin on of hands
I wonder when healing will come
And where

Do you mean to tell me I was supposed to have timed the sequence and forgot to press start?
Then you too had almost outlasted your stay and of course you are only doing your job to turn away
But why then do I feel so half?
So unfinished?
Half-written with so much more to say?

They say idle hands are the devil’s playground
That an ear in silence is just waiting to hear God’s voice

And I do so pray that He speaks (and quite loudly) in these ears
Because they are bare and alone
And cold

I stood out on a street corner
Turning around and around on myself
Squinting through the danger coursing my way through darkness
Hoping to find your swagger on its way back to me

I want to confirm my impatience with your return
Watch you come back into plain view
Feel your goatee getting longer and making its way down my neck

I can’t stand your being away
I can stand your absence but I cannot keep you close in mind
If you are here you must be here
A girl’s brain can only encompass so many versions of the truth

What was I thinking?
and how did you get this far without having even held my hand?

I am the laughing stock of my senses
And you are nowhere to see my pity crowd around
Have I exhausted the kitchen fan?
Am I utensils used and now used up?