transitions

And the thing is I want to let go
I have a problem remembering to forget all of what happened to get me to where I am these days

I am strong minded and able to interpret feelings into emotions
Actions into meaning

What I can’t seem to do is let go
I need concrete to smack me not too hard in my face
Like the fall I survived at 4 the day before the party
And I still smiled in all the pictures
Enjoyed my friends scars and pizza all the same

So maybe if we can arrange some happy easy time

Some easygoing atmosphere
Maybe rolling around in a canopy filled with red and green and blue and yellow plastic balls

Maybe if we stay away from you saying things like one day and tease me
Maybe if you define us for me
And say what we will be right now
Then I can hear you
And interpret you
And box you in
Until it’s playtime and reassessment needs to be made

And then maybe after a few years of laying still in the net filled with plastic color we’ll wake up and say we like it this way
Together in the fun times and the quiet times and amidst loud noises
Or maybe we’ll say we like it but would like it even more if we substituted the round sometimes unpredictability of plastic beneath with a softer more even surface
With pillows nonetheless

These are my elementary ideas to save our fate from my fingers and screens I have to squint to see
You are free (and encouraged) to provide input or even take control of what will be our destiny

I’ve never been too good at transitions