i wish i could go back to
traveling just because
brushing twice, daily
smiling cause of some-him
being fully swamped with thoughts a muse gave me one night in a city neither of us would ever return to
dancing heavy or light depending on the beat
walking anywhere and nowhere all at once

now i'm completely lost in real time
finding my way has no real direction and i was much closer to found when income was coming and thoughts were tight like my pussy used to be

i get stuck on corners i have never seen before wondering where the hell i'm going and how i'm aupposed to get there on time
i hold my breath while crying in my bed at night--living alone wasn't supposed to look or feel like this

'tis love' sparks through my mind like the memory it always will be
cars driven in cities familiar and fare hikes silent and iridescent on my golden radar of not knowing much at all

prom dresses cost a little more now and parade through churches heading towards altars of i do when i still haven't and don't know if i ever truly will
cause one thing that hasn't come or gone with the time is my will to have it my way
and 82 was a powerful year but i knew i wanted it like that before i ever touched the BK Big fish
i was raised vege-/pescetarian

so when i look back over my life
and think things o-over
i find myself furrowing my brow
cause i don't seem to be as good at living as i used to

i thought things only got better with time...?