OK, so in talking to my neighbor tonight, and admitting that yes, I too have loved and lost (she thought I wasn't into using the L-word) I remembered the person who still holds pieces of me, and I don't even know when I gave them to him
"like a kleptomaniac workin hard & forgettin while stealin" (ntozake shange)
but he does
have me
...don't worry, I'll get myself back one day
but in the meantime between time, this is what I wrote about him just now, for your viewing pleasure (or otherwise)--share thoughts if you will. . . peace


We
Go thru these things
Tunnels of dark vision during the daytime
Sun shines outside but inside we
Are pensive
And consumed by the absence of something
Someone
We think we need
Or someone we want

We
Go thru these things
Days full of clouds
Rain dampened clothes hang on our limp bodies
Rags cling to our memories as we
Try to wring ourselves free from the grasp of his hands, his voice, his breath
So soft but
So gone

We
Go thru these things
Dull hallways of monotonous silence
Beating us senseless with what we don’t want to know
Knowledge is only welcome when arms have opened
But ours
Are crossed
Against our chests
Full of emptiness
Air trapped
Cramped breathing room
No chairs for choice or chance

We go thru life
Wanting it to be more than it is
But all the time shutting out the “yes” that awaits the opening of our front door
We hope the music will eventually come back but
The ear plugs we inserted keep all sound out and only our cavernous craziness in
We push away the bodies that come close to holding us
We put on clothes when the sun is shining bright
We bathe ourselves in filthy water, hoping to be cleansed

And as time watches over us
Her head hangs in tearful despair
Back and forth we go
Battling our most desperate desires while daring pain to pierce us once again

We forget
That the battle has already been fought
And won