Okay, I admit it. I'm looking back to bring me up to present speed on me and where I stand in this life thing.
And I found this in email archives just now.
Another Lewin piece, written not too far from our ending, dated 7/14/05:

in these days where time approaches new beginnings, fear is hiding behind the oxygen that keeps me alive
and just like oxygen inhaled incorrectly, fear threatens to choke me dead if i allow her entrance to this temple
just as appealing and nearby, you stand
tall and sturdy, unyielding to light and dark, as they are of no consequence to serious-minds
you
stand by and watch the thing inside my head sway from left field to right
braining this whole decision out do i
choose the easier and more common defense to shield me with its hatred of the unknown or do i
close my eyes and tilt my head to the leftlean on your shoulder and let love rule, i want to be enveloped in your warmth
as smooth as the day we met and as cool
as a green jacket over a red shirt, easy like your hand rubbing my back
and me breathing easy, fearless
and free