what you did

you listened while i talked
and it felt so good to know that my words had been before lies
men really do have the capacity

you taught and i learned
and it felt so good to not be at the top for once

you cared and i was filled
when has it ever felt other than good to be thought of...considered?
never

you talked and i listened
and your stories made the world smaller and your voice heavenly

you did not always acknowledge
and because genius is nothing alone, i sometimes felt shut out
we all need attention paid to our gifts but i found that at times you knew too much
so i got a little more quiet

you fathered and often commanded
and yes, some women do want to replace failing fathers
and certainly we can arrange for you to be daddy
but daughter disapppeared a while ago and what i need is a friend who has control over taking control

you felt and made your feelings known to me
and God, how new that was
to be told i was special, beautiful, and meaningful to another human being for whom i felt the same?
unmatched
and perhaps that is why i tell you these things
you felt and i felt good about your feeling good about me

you opened
up
higher and higher we went
and i was there until i wasn't
but you kept going when i couldn't go any further
and then when you looked back i was standing back in disbelief
now knowing that it was still possible to get left behind

you closed because i closed
and i closed because of you
we reciprocated, for all intents and purposes
but our purpose became lost with the loss of time
and everything was cut short
the music stopped
the dancing ceased
and all was over before i even blinked

then you left
i called, but it was too late
you flew away and began again
and i wonder how it felt to step away from all you thought might have one day been yours
or perhaps you knew something i didn't
and never saw what i see now

i know how it feels to be left behind
not good

but you,
you were good

and you did great things to and for me
and i am aware of
and grateful for you having done all of what you did

Copyright © 2006 by Arin Lawrence