i'd be lying if i said i didn't want you to be different

and that i didn't want to see you or touch you
and hold you close again
it feels almost impossible to not get my hopes up and smashed
when i see you
and you can just stand there with your hands like that
like somebody made you like this
tied you up inside yourself
and made you stand behind your own self

no sweetheart
it was you who found the string long enuf to bind me to you for life
heart to hope
and honest and open for this terrible season of ever

--and afterwards you hung your heart so close
and so far from me
that i stand
still
in this temple of familiar
torture
like a 9-5
waiting for you to pick up the phone
just to call
and say
you love me